Set-ups feel like they are something of the past. As the years age and working-from-home becomes more known, meeting others organically or through friends seems further from the norm. Yet, here I was, in the middle of a set-up. 

He was a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend! There were a lot of connections that made this blind date possible, including my friend being the middle person. She did say, “I know nothing about this guy besides my friend vouching for him.” Since her friend was a woman, I thought I could trust this vouch from a stranger. Little did I know, I was about to learn an important lesson.

I rarely make stupid choices. I’m meticulous at measuring outcomes and risk assessing before making decisions. But when I do make those not-so-favourable choices, they are truly the stupidest!

Let’s rewind to lowrise jeans, doubled-up tank tops, embellished denim, and crop tops. Yes, I’m talking about the early 2000s, though those fashion trends are randomly back in fashion. It was 2006 and I was fresh off of a trip to Guatemala. And by trip I mean a Christian missionary trip where we helped build a retaining wall for a school in an area prone to mudslides. It was an experience I cherish to this day.

The time has finally come! ‘Tis the week before Christmas and all through the house, laptops are closing, Prosecco is popping, and cheesy Christmas movies are being watched. Even though this blog is meant for tales of my personal relationships, today is destined for the meet cutes we know and love (kind of) on the big screen.

Have you ever been ghosted by a friend? I have. Multiple times. Some of my favourite meet cutes have been with my friends, but not all have lasted this far. It’s a tough thing to write about this phenomenon of friendship. It’s multi-faceted and deeply part of our lives. Yet, here I sit ready to disclose a meet cute turned unrequited. *big sigh* But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t challenge myself to be vulnerable, so here we go…

I won’t sugarcoat this story. It’s heartbreaking. Even as I prepare to write it, I worry what they will think of me. It was many years of my life that I invested in this relationship, so it will take some time for me to not wonder what they think. I am a recovering people pleaser! I’m also learning to forgive—to not let them live rent-free in my head.

Someone told me once that assumptions steal choice. For so many years, I’ve made decisions based on what I thought people wanted me to do or what I thought was best for them. The key in that sentence is “thought,” the sister to “assumed.” I didn’t realize how much I was taking away someone’s choice by making decisions solely based on assumptions. I now know that this has hindered my dating life in many, many ways. We all make mistakes, especially in dating, and this meet cute story was my big mess.