Curiosity Gave Me Nine Lives
Supposedly, curiosity killed the cat, or at least that’s how the saying went to sway people away from danger. I don’t know about you, but curiosity helped me gain nine lives. Even gain community and a wealth of relationships. Was it truly curiosity that was considered dangerous, or was it just fear?
Growing up with a religious upbringing, curiosity was not always encouraged. I never fully understood why until I travelled the world and started to understand the aversion. Curiosity creates questions and disrupts the norm. If one wants to create a controlled environment, curiosity cannot exist.
This behaviour was challenged for me when I was 18 years old. Ironically, I was at Bible College, and one of the professors said she would only answer a question with a question until the end of the term, when we’d have one class to hear her thoughts. The idea around this was to encourage curiosity from the reading we were assigned and create an environment to discuss different opinions without one way being the only answer. The last class was compelling because she shared how, for 18 years, we were told what to think, and now it was our time to decide what we actually believed. We realized that we couldn’t determine wholeheartedly what we believed without contemplating multiple viewpoints.
The “curiosity killed the cat” view was challenged again when I was 31 years old. I was feeling complacent with my career and felt a desperate need to be creative, but I didn’t know how or where to start. A friend encouraged me to reach out instead of waiting for a position to be posted. So, with my nerves on fire, I reached out to my favourite social enterprise, Luminary Bakery, and proposed storytelling to help elevate their reach. What I didn’t know was that they were looking for someone to discreetly tell the stories of the women they were working with, but wanted someone safe and compassionate. They met my proposal with a proposal of their own.
“Originally, my curiosity led me to reach out in hopes of playing a small part in storytelling. What unfolded was co-authoring their first cookbook with HarperCollins and creating a first-of-its-kind Press and Communications department. What started as one bold, curious outreach became a purpose-driven part of my career that I still cherish to this day.”
But one moment of curiosity doesn’t lead to nine lives. It’s a habit that eventually leads to desire. Once curiosity becomes part of your life, I warn you, it’s addictively attractive. Not only can it help with problem-solving, but it’s a secret ingredient to success. Several studies have shown that the more curious you are about something, the better you remember it. Now apply that to relationships. Imagine the world we could create around ourselves if we not only said words like, “I love you,” but showed we cared by remembering.
“Why be curious? Because it says loudly, ‘I care!’”
So the next question is, how do we stay curious at work, in our friendships and relationships, and with romance? How do we make it a habit?
These are just four ways I’ve learned, but the beauty of curiosity is that there are many more and different ways, and I encourage you to seek them out. You just need to start looking (ahem… be curious)!
For me, I keep curiosity alive by:
Listening—it’s easy to have an answer, but it’s way more beneficial to sit back and observe. Why do you think we all love people watching? There’s something about not just listening with our ears, but also listening with our eyes, that gives us a wealth of knowledge beyond the surface.
Constructive Thinking—this may be one of the most important steps in this day and age, where we are being told information at a minute-by-minute rate! That is not learning. That’s absorption, or as I learnt in my religious upbringing, control. Learning is about taking the time to research, to explore, and to constructively decide what you believe outside of people’s opinions and the endless array of information we are being fed.
Lead with Kindness—when it comes to relationships, sometimes our inquisitiveness can come across as judgmental if we ask too many “how” and “why” questions. Stick with the “who”, “what”, “where”, and “when” questions, like, “I’d love to hear more about them, if you’re up for it!” or “Where did you travel to?” Take a tip from my professor and spend time asking questions to get to know someone. But remember, being curious about someone else always starts with considering the other person’s humanity. Curiosity can be selfish if we let it. That is why kindness is the key to gaining nine lives!
Stepping Out—the one many of us are averse to, and one I personally need to pump myself up for doing. Stepping out of your comfort zone. This could be creatively, going to a networking event, asking someone out, asking for a promotion, saying ‘yes’ to an opportunity, or even being vulnerable with a friend. By stepping out of our comfort zones, we are allowing space for something new.
Whether you’re starting a new job, leading a team, searching for a romantic relationship, or managing the complexities of family relationships, inquisitiveness is key. Let’s add some perspective about life together and gain nine lives. Dare to be curious!
