You & Your Wandering Eye

This is a very multi-layered, twirly-whirly tale of events! Three meet cutes collide, yet each has their own story. This particular journey starts with The Comedian and ends with The Wanderer. Would you believe that The Rescuer also makes an appearance? I know what you’re thinking, “Kaila, you player!” But, friends, just like all my MeetCUTE blogs go, this is not the black and white story you’d expect.

Let’s dig in. 

I was at a festival. 

Actually, scratch that! I was at a church weekend away, but they tried to give it a festival feeling. Like Coachella, but non-churchy things were done in secret. If I learnt anything about being in the church and christian institutions for 33 years, it’s that people still do all the things that they are told not to do, but do it in secret so some can still judge others for doing it!

But I digress… back to the church-meets-coachella festival.

We were all camping in tents, and this year, the weather was on our side with not a raindrop in sight. There were lots of fun events and even a pub-style bar that was open on the regular! One of the evening events was speed dating, but you had to bring another single of the opposite sex that you weren’t interested in. Then you’d each go around the room meeting different couples.

“At the time, I was trying to avoid being paired with The Rescuer (we were on and off, and this weekend we were off), so I paired off all my single friends with each other including him. It wasn’t until I proudly patted myself on the back for my successful avoidance that I realised I didn’t have anyone to go with!

*palm on forehead*”

So, I spread word around the camps to see if there were any eligible bachelors left who wanted to go with me. A friend of a friend found someone and I met The Comedian at the door to the event. He was tall and funny, and if you haven't done speed dating before, humour is essential to get through it. 

I will not sugarcoat this, the event was exhausting. When we rocked up to a new couple, the guy wouldn’t even talk to me. He’d just look at me, write my name down on his “connect with” sheet, and then the bell would ring. You were only given 2 minutes to speak to someone!?

Just imagine repeating the same superficial questions over and over again for 30 minutes?

“Hi! How are you? What do you do for work?” *DING—bell rings*

“At one point, The Comedian whispered to me, “You okay?” I looked at him with complete mental fatigue and said, “I’m done!” He laughed and invited me to go with him to the bar to meet his friends. ”

We genuinely had a good time together and if what happened next hadn't happened, I think we could have had some quality dates. But what happened next actually happened.

He introduced me to his friends, one of which was The Wanderer. He was beautiful and there were immediate sparks. As The Comedian went to get drinks, The Wanderer and I started talking and the chemistry kept pulling us closer.

Throughout the rest of the festival, we all continued to meet up at the bar! The girls in their friendship group ended up telling me they had a bet going on who I would end up with—The Comedian or The Wanderer. I was genuinely shocked by having these two guys interested in me! It’s flattering, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve been in a love triangle before and the drama that comes with it eventually outweighs the perks.

One late night, The Wanderer asked if I wanted to get food. He paid for our food and we sat at the picnic tables off to the side where we could see the stars. Again, the chemistry was sparking!

“He opened up about his divorce and how hard his marriage had been on him. I was surprised by his vulnerability, but simultaneously grateful for it as it genuinely felt like we had known each other longer than just a couple of days.”

After we finished eating, we met back up with the group to go watch the fireworks. At this point, most of us were tipsy. I remember The Comedian being the more sober one and trying to chat with me, but The Wanderer had already caught my eye and I really struggled to give my flirty attention to two people.

What I haven’t mentioned yet is it was the last night of the festival and I was supposed to get a ride home with The Rescuer the next morning. This is an important part of the puzzle, because we had to leave at 6am. I had already packed up my tent and given The Rescuer my luggage. News spread around the camps that there were a couple of empty glamping tents, which I swiftly requested to sleep in. All of this is valuable context for what happens next!

As we watched the fireworks, The Wanderer asked if he could drive me home the next day so we could have more time together. I happily agreed and quickly texted The Rescuer that I would no longer need a ride home (secretly hoping for some jealousy, which he delivered on) . Since my luggage was in his car, I asked if he could drop it off at my glamping tent in the morning. This was a mistake, but we’ll get to that!

I said goodnight to The Comedian and The Wanderer before grabbing my toiletries for my evening skincare routine. As I stood in line to the bathroom, I was in my own blissful and tipsy world. After 30+ minutes of waiting for a sink, I walked back to my glamping tent, using my phone as a flashlight.

“As I zipped up the canvas and began to change, I heard someone snoring and immediately froze with my shirt almost off. It was pitch black in the tent and my phone light wasn’t helping much. My eyes slowly followed the light as I rotated around the tent, and there, completely passed out, was The Wanderer.”

Now, maybe to a guy this is cute and not an issue. But to a woman, having only met this man a couple of days ago, I was suddenly terrified. I had nowhere else to go and everyone I texted was sleeping. I lay awake all night, going back and forth between, “It’s okay. He’s a nice guy,” and “He’s definitely an ax murderer. Don’t you dare close your eyes!”

But I eventually closed me eyes.

The sunrise woke me and I swiftly looked around the room. There was The Wanderer fast asleep. As I got out of bed to go to the bathroom I noticed my luggage at the entrance. The Rescuer had not only dropped it off, but had most definitely seen The Wanderer in my tent. I chose ignorance and avoided thinking about what The Rescuer thought (even though up until that weekend, that’s all I had cared about). Remember, I was at a church event and a guy and girl sharing a tent like this was a big no-no.

“As I stepped out of the tent, I took a deep breath. There’s something so refreshing about the morning sun! It’s like you get greeted with the beauty and freedom of a new day in vibrant and golden colors. Like a hug for your soul. After such a terrible sleep, it was gift.”

After cleaning up, I ran into The Comedian. Before he even reached me I could tell he looked concerned. He then proceeded to tell me that he was with The Wanderer when he decided to sleep in my tent. The Comedian had told The Wanderer multiple times that it was my tent, but he didn’t care. He just passed out.

If I hadn’t been so sleep deprived and lacking a ride home, I would have ditched these guys! However, The Rescuer was already gone and the only one with room to take me home was The Wanderer… who apologized profusely for freaking me out. In my people-pleasing and fatigued state, I agreed to let this random dude (The Wanderer) drive me three hours home. I know it sounds crazy but in the church and christian communities, people trust so easily. We are shockingly vulnerable to exploitation, but that’s a topic for a different time!

On our ride home, he told me how much he liked me. That he couldn’t explain it but just wanted to be around me. I was surprised with how honest and open he was with me. I hadn’t experienced that from a guy before and it really drew me closer to him.

And let's not forget the chemistry! That was still amazing.

“The Wanderer dropped me off and we continued to text and speak on the phone for days following. That was, until I met up with a friend. She was one of the first people I had a chance to talk about The Wanderer with and how close we had gotten. As I shared about his life and job, she abruptly stopped me from speaking. Then leaned forward with a concerned look on her face and quietly asked, “Kaila, is his name _________?””

I was taken aback and I excitedly said, “Yeah it is! How did you know?”

Friends, would you believe that she worked with his wife? Yes, you heard. His wife! Not ex-wife. WIFE! I immediately felt gross and sick to my stomach. I called him right away to ask for the truth. What I didn’t expect but should have expected is his justification for wanting something with me—he and his wife were having “problems.”

*heavy eye roll*

I get it. They definitely could have been but he still lied about the whole thing. I remember taking a moment before responding. I eventually said, “I’m not okay with this and you lied to me about being divorced. I can’t let this go any further.” That ended the call and ended the flighty meet cute with The Wanderer. 

However…

I did end up running into him a year later at the same festival and at the same bar.

He hid.

Editor’s Note: What I still can’t get over to this day is how all his friends didn’t mention to me that he was married. They were all Christans, for goodness sakes! If that isn’t proof that some people love creating drama, I’m not sure what is.